Unspoken-Unheard
[rxn]
45 - ELLEGARDEN
Our friend's show will begin in 45 minutes
But we are still a hundred miles away from the hall
We are at almost half way there
Driving fast to catch the first song he will sing for us tonigt
Our tires are flat
We could be running out of gas
It's getting dark now
Our headlamps are failing
Maps are too old
We don't even know where we are
But we have to go
We think we'll make it
Step on the gas
We'll be in time at least for the party after the show
Don't forget that we are here to have fun
NOt to throw blame around
We screwed up at the last corner
Then we had to make left turn to get back to the main street
We are almost there
Come on buddy
We are only 5 minutes late
You know the show could have been delayed
I will take you
I'll lead you there
I promise that I will take you
Now the tires are burning
We are at the edge of the town
It's dark now
But we see the bright lights there
We don't need these maps anymore
We are quite sure of
Where we are now
We are sure to make it
Thursday, February 21, 2008
listo
someone im really close to asked me, "are you ready? are you really ready?" caught me by surprise. i dont think i am. she was right. i rushed myself into something i really wasnt ready for. i just wanted it so bad. sometimes when you live so long without experiencing something, without feeling something, you tend to just dive in, head-first into the black sea. then the piercing water steals your breath and makes your mind go crazy, fighting just to keep your head afloat.
thats when it hits you that maybe you should have learned to swim before jumping in the water. go figure, eh. what do i do now?
learn. before being swallowed in, i fought back, and it spit me out. then i was just laying there, cold and wet, not knowing what just happened, whether it was real, or if i would survive.
somehow, i found some pleasure of being in the water, feeling of weightlessness, feeling emotion all over you. once you stop fighting it, the water becomes so still, so tranquil, you just cant help but think how beatiful it can really be. it carries you, surrounds you, but then question or doubt it, and it turns on you. it was so nice while it lasted. maybe i can try again? "what are you going to do to be ready?" easy, do everything i didnt do, and do nothing of what i did do. for that brief moment, i felt it, the feeling ive been needing, wanting, craving. whatever it takes.
im still learning. ive also been training. i want to give it another try. im sure i can do it now. all i need now is opportunity.
this time i will float. better yet, ill actually swim. i wont know where im going, but who ever does. who knows whats lurking in those waters. doesnt matter to me. you taught me so much.
"are you ready yet? are you ready to fall in love?"
: 19:36
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
quiver, quiver ( :P )
you suck!
no not really. but you are just there. always.
ack temptation. and you have no idea (i think).
i know its just a pipe dream, but i wont tell you.
in risk of awkward situations, uneasiness, grudges... yada yada.
i hate how it will never be.
i love that you are there.
i avoid you.
i always want to be around you.
but just forget it.
itll never be.
still not phased.
will you give me something? anything? at all?
: 22:30
mr. lonely
the only thing keeping me from truly declaring my life is content and i am completely happy with everything.
its what keeps me up all night.
keeps me "not" doing my homework just sitting there thinking about how much better the situation could be.
keeps me hugging my pillow for hours.
keeps me distracted when i could be studying for something useful.
still unphased, and going strong.
i hold this title with hopes of changing it.
lonely doesnt have to be so denotely put.
single sounds better.
: 22:17
i need to talk to you...
... why am i hesitating?
nothing bad. or that controversial. just need to get things out there ya' know. many things have bothered me. but ive been holding it in.
ive evolved, changed, grown, strengthened. so its not eating away at me. but i just want to know, need to know. but hesitation.
it was not my intention to never talk to you again. you said we can still talk and stuff. just simple conversation like i would with any of my friends. what happened? i am sorry for that. ive screwed up many things but i am different now. i will never ask for a second chance. i now how it is now.
but i want us to talk again. i miss you. i dont care about last year. well i do, but its not holding me any more.
thats whats been bothereing me though, last year, but again, not holding me. just curious. and i like hearing from you. liked being around you without feeling ackward.
i dont know what last year meant to you, but i hope you dont forget me. because i havnt forgotten you yet. hasnt escaped my mind for even one day for over a year by now.
oops.... i hope nothing i said makes you feel obliged to do anything, or broach guilt in any way. dont worry about anything.
maybe if im lucky, we will talk again.
:]
: 21:48
Thursday, February 7, 2008
TAG!!! You're it!
Because you're bored and have stumbled upon this... TAG!
That's right, tag. As in: Tag, you're it. And you are. As of right now.
Here's how you play:
Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment ("You're It") and to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me back, let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see your answers!
1) My longest routine in the morning is doing my hair... of course
2) I take all these hard classes to distinguish myself, to challenge myself, and because I have no idea where my life is heading, better prepare for it anyway right?
3) I have issues talking on phones, idk why. I'd rather talk directly to ppl, but... idk :/.
4) I can't wait for the freedoms and liberties that come with being at college and away from home
5) My freshman year made me realize who I am.
6) My sophomore year turned my life around completely.
7) My junior year tied up most of my loose ends.
8) Im not as smart as people see me. It's hard to explain.
9) I suck in relationships
10) I don't ask for anything, I don't have a lot (not material), but I seen recognition because of what I lack, but it translates as cockiness and stupidity :[.
I TAG : (i dont know anyone else with blogs)
1)Aaron
2)Kaylyn
3)Rachel
4)Sadie
5)Hair Bear
If u guys hav blogs
6)Vicky <3
7)Steph ^^
8) Coco
9)Zerhow (yao wo)
10)Um....... blah
: 23:08
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Damn it, hormones!!!
those damn things are draining me (no pun intended).
ive gotten so far and im so happy... proud. now i can tie up 'most' of the loose ends. except for the one thing hindering it all.
sometimes you cant always pretend like you're having fun. Like its all just a game.
sometimes you cant always hide it. Like no one will see it.
_________
but its soo pointless. the situation is unfavoring (if thats a word). and a little ironic.
i wont give it up even though i should. not bc its all i have. bc its, in a way, helpful.
this isnt a game. this isnt going away.
and as usual.... my posts all sound like crap
: 19:29